Let Me Hit You With This.

What is the deal with the female obsession with babies? I know it has to do with the female instinct to reproduce which is essential to the survival of mankind, but seriously, women go absolutely insane when it comes to babies. Some of you know that I have been baffled by this since my sisters starting having kids a few years ago, but last night things finally went too far. I was doing some shopping at my local grocery store, and decided to treat myself to some Chinese food for dinner. I politely positioned myself in line so that my cart was out of the way and allowed for through traffic in the aisle. There was a gentleman in front of me whose wife had also placed her two carts out of the way on the opposite side of the aisle, allowing space for one cart to easily pass down the center of the aisle with no problems. Sounds reasonable right? Until you factor in that the wife had two small children in the carts, about 1 1/2 and 3 years old. Shortly after my arrival a woman in her fifties pulled her cart into line behind me, saw the two youngsters, and then moved her cart into the space that had been thoughtfully provided by the rest of us line-dwellers. The woman stayed there for some time, until the babies left, cajoling and cooing and cuddling, while numerous other shoppers were clogged into a traffic quagmire. Despite this fact the woman continued her ogling, oblivious to the inconvenience of those around her. It was like she was hypnotized. A freight train could have been bearing down on her and she wouldn't have flinched, as long as those kids were left dangling in front of her. I was appalled. While this is the most extreme example of "baby syndrome" I have seen, it is only the last in a long line. I do have to say that mothers who currently have babies seem to be immune to the syndrome, and appear more than happy to pass their kids of to some crazy, baby obsessed, woman. Older women are certainly the worst offenders, but not by much. Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and think that babies are cute and great and all of that, but upon seeing one I don't turn off my mind and switch into some tunnel-vision, pampers-induced, vegetative state that renders me useless to society and a nuisance to those around me. I honestly believe that the only solution to the shopping cart gridlock, other than the removal of the children, would have been to give the woman a good swift kick to the back of the head, a sort of jump start, if you will. Not being that kind of person, I was forced to suffer in torment with my fellow man. What is my point? My point is that when you, as a female, see a baby you should WAKE UP AND USE YOUR HEAD! As I said before, I like kids. I like to smile at them and make funny faces at them (mainly in church) and listen to the funny things that they say, but the entire female gender are like a breed of alien robots intent on one thing and one thing alone. BABIES, BABIES,BABIES!! That's pretty much all I have to say on that. Before someone jumps all over me, questioning how I can lump all females into one category, please read my post below entitled "Because I Can."