Friday, November 10, 2006

Science Hates Me.

Last Saturday Roverine and I went on a fossil hunting excursion in Swatara State Park. I have vague memories of visiting the park's fossil pit in Elementary School. It was an exciting time. The pit, back then, was more of a low cliff, the face being made up of sedimentary rock. The rock was compacted in thin layers and with the help of a hammer and chisel could be pulled out, almost like books stacked vertically. With those memories fresh in my mind I was bitterly disappointed when we arrived to find not a cliff of rock, but a hill of broken stones. It was then that I realized that Elementary School had in fact been 20 years ago. That moment of clarity didn't help my mood any.

Regardless of my disappointment, I pounced on the pile of rocks in earnest. Underneath the loose rubble there actually was a layer of rock that I chipped away at. I proudly proclaimed to Roverine that I was perhaps only minutes away from finding the fossilized iPod that would turn decades of scientific theory on its ear. Maybe I shouldn't have boasted too loudly. Roverine soon found some plant remains. I found a baseball sized portion of mud. Roverine found a tiny impression of a spine and ribs. I found a small rock. Roverine found a shell. I discovered a whole new type of rage. Science was having its revenge for my boasting, and it was doing quite the job. Demoralizing me in front of my wife wasn't enough for Science, not enough by far. It was only a matter of minutes before an entire troop of Boy Scouts arrived, climbed about the pile like little monkeys, and began to announce discovery, after discovery, after discovery. Their troop leader came over to tell Roverine and I about the fossils he found last year that had been analyzed by the Reading Museum. I wanted to make him a fossil. I still hadn't found bupkis!

I began to wonder about Science. My iPod joke hadn't been that offensive. In fact I thought it was quite witty. Did that one joke warrant the misery that I was now living with? I thought not, but then thought again. Maybe it wasn't that one joke. Maybe this was the culminated revenge for the years of mockery I have put Science through. Maybe Science remembered the time I set fire to the sink in 10th grade Biology, or the time we removed the handles from all of the gas valves in the lab, rendering them useless. Maybe it had something to do with setting off the emergency shower in 12th grade Chemistry, citing "Chemistry sucks" as my sole justification. I certainly hoped that Science had forgotten about my eloquent treatise arguing that the scientific explanation for the origin of life fell apart when examined under the rules of scientific method itself. With horrific clarity the picture became clear to me. Through years of thoughtless mockery and ballyhoo I had established a pattern of contempt for Science. It wasn't intentional, but with that realization I came to one conclusion. Science hates me.

So there I sat, perched on top a pile of fossil bearing stones without one fossil to show for myself. Why? Because Science was having his revenge. Others around me gloried in ferns and shells and trilobites while my bag sat empty. It was now obvious that I would be making no discoveries today. In humility I gathered up Roverine and headed off to photograph the scenery, that seemed relatively secure from the scorn of Science.

I'm at a loss for what to do about Science these days. Initially I thought I would just go with it and continue to antagonize (referring to Darwin as a "ragamuffin island hopper" came to mind), but I now realize that that might not be such a good idea. As it stands I hold no hope of ever finding a fossil again, and I can live with that, but what if I push things further? Can I live with a meteor in my house? I think not. Science and I have settled into an uneasy truce. I will no longer find fossils and Science will let me live. At that's how things will stand. Until I think of something very witty to say, in which case it was nice to know all of you.

Monday, November 06, 2006

As It Turns Out, I'm Not Perfect.

I made a mistake at work tonight. It wasn't a little, "Oops! I spelled Saskatchewan wrong." mistake either. The consequences of my mistake could have put several of us into a very delicate situation. Fortunately, someone at another agency also made a mistake (I'm being generous there because it was more of a deliberate act of sloth). I was forced to take action in response to their mistake, and that action rendered the consequences of my mistake to be void, or at least significantly diminished. In the end I was very fortunate, but not off of the hot seat. I hate to make mistakes. They make me very angry with my self, and I wish that I could pretend that they never happened. At the same time I have a personal policy of always owning my mistakes. I think its what a person of integrity and faith does and I also think that it makes me a more trustworthy person. I have a coworker who never owns any mistakes and the result is that no one believes a word he says. So back to tonight, in the end I could have let things go. Several people knew that something had happened, but if I told them not to worry about it they wouldn't ask any questions, and I love them for that. Because I love them I told them the truth, and they were incredibly gracious about it. They were actually more upset about the deliberate act of sloth (sorry, "mistake") that followed. Somehow though I didn't feel any better. Tonight was a close as I get to "big time screw up," and although no perceived damage was done, I felt damaged. I pride myself on speed and accuracy, and I failed on both counts. That really bothered me. Thankfully I had the time to retreat into a good book for a bit before I had to get back into things. That helped. I eventually blew off a post-work social event (and it was a good one) and went home. For the rest of the night I felt as if my credibility had been ruined and I just wanted to get out of there. Anyway, I suppose I will feel better in the morning and I will get a fresh shot at making a mess of things then. For now I'm headed back into that good book.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Since Proteinstar Begged For It.

Here is a new post. I find it ironic that a man who goes months without posting feels free to criticize me after a matter of days, but whatever.

Some of you might remember that last fall I was excited about a new racing series called A1GP, but lost interest due to a difficult TV viewing schedule and lackluster performances by the U.S. Team. The basic premise of the series is that Formula One and the Olympics had a night of poor judgment resulting in a child, A1GP. The series is held over the winter months on circuits around the world, similar to F1. The teams represent nations, rather that multi-million dollar corporations. The principal team member must be from the country the team represents. It is actually a pretty cool concept, but like I said, TV coverage here in the states was poor and the U.S. Team wasn't exactly awesome. The cars are not the wonders of technology that F1 cars are either. However, this year I am determined to give A1GP another shot. I'm beginning to see the beauty of the series. The drivers are either F1 hopefuls or has beens and the cars lack the downforce of their more famous cousins. This makes for some very interesting racing. A1GP also webcasts their races and has signed a contract with Speed TV for U.S. coverage. To add to my excitement the are also in negotiations to have a seasoning opening street race in Washington DC next September. That would be a must attend event. Here's some Youtube highlights from last season if your are interested.