The Greatest Post Title Ever,

The greatest post title ever has got to be "Let Me Hit You With This." I originally used this title several posts ago when presenting my opinions on Female Infant Obsession Syndrome. I used the title, "Let Me Hit You With This," in a manner that meant "What do you think about this?" I have since come to realize that the title could mean so much more. Here are just a few ways that the title could, and may be, used in the future:

"Let Me Hit You With This"

1) The delivery of good news. "I just caught an incredibly large trout."
2) The delivery of bad news. "I forgot to take the large trout out of your car when you dropped me off yesterday."
3) Literal application, "this" being the large trout. "Let me hit you with this."
4) Skewed word usage. "Let Me" being an Asian male, and "this" still being the trout. "Look at what Let Me hit you with."

I could go on and on. Look for more fun and exciting uses in the future.

Did Anyone Else Notice It?

Last night I watched the first two episodes of Lost, and I have a question for those of you who have also seen them. I need to begin by saying that, in this new season, the writers have blown the roof off of the show. By the end of last season I was growing tired of the plot. By the end of last nights episodes I was wishing that I was on the island. Anyway, here's my question. Throughout the two new episodes, especially the second one, you see the logo to an unknown company numerous times. I believe the company name is "Scorpion," but can't be sure. There is also a point in the show when two characters are afloat at sea and encounter a shark. In an unfortunate TV viewing event, I glanced away from the TV for a split second, and missed a shot of the shark moving across the screen. As I looked back, Nicole started yelling that the "Scorpion" company logo was tattooed on the shark. The few remaining shots of the shark were mainly of its fin, so I wasn't able to check it out again. Did anyone else see if the shark had a tattoo? I have already formulated several opinions about the island, and a tattooed shark could conceivably fit into all of them (what a sentence). Let me know.

Updates.

A buddy of mine managed to record the entire first race of the Gratz Fair Figure 8 Races on his digital camera, and I was waiting for him to email it to me in the hopes of posting it for you. Obviously, the lack of it here indicates that I have not yet received it. Sadly, I did not attend the races this year. After my cohorts bailed out (through events beyond their control), I decided that I did not relish a 2.5 hour round trip by myself, and spent the evening with my fiance. It was nice, and the races will return next year. From those that did attend I gleaned the following information. The track was a bit larger this year, and had fewer concrete barricades. This led to less traffic congestion, and therefore less smash 'em up action. The first few races were described as something of a disappointment. However, for some unknown reason, the drivers in the later races were consumed with rage and seemed to care more about collision than victory, which more than made up for the early timidity. For those of you who are unaware of, and trying to picture, the Gratz Races, take a healthy blend of Mad Max and Deliverance with a little bit of good old Roman bloodlust for taste, and you will be pretty close to the actual event. Anyway, when the above mentioned video becomes available to me I will be more than happy to share.

Let Me Hit You With This.

What is the deal with the female obsession with babies? I know it has to do with the female instinct to reproduce which is essential to the survival of mankind, but seriously, women go absolutely insane when it comes to babies. Some of you know that I have been baffled by this since my sisters starting having kids a few years ago, but last night things finally went too far. I was doing some shopping at my local grocery store, and decided to treat myself to some Chinese food for dinner. I politely positioned myself in line so that my cart was out of the way and allowed for through traffic in the aisle. There was a gentleman in front of me whose wife had also placed her two carts out of the way on the opposite side of the aisle, allowing space for one cart to easily pass down the center of the aisle with no problems. Sounds reasonable right? Until you factor in that the wife had two small children in the carts, about 1 1/2 and 3 years old. Shortly after my arrival a woman in her fifties pulled her cart into line behind me, saw the two youngsters, and then moved her cart into the space that had been thoughtfully provided by the rest of us line-dwellers. The woman stayed there for some time, until the babies left, cajoling and cooing and cuddling, while numerous other shoppers were clogged into a traffic quagmire. Despite this fact the woman continued her ogling, oblivious to the inconvenience of those around her. It was like she was hypnotized. A freight train could have been bearing down on her and she wouldn't have flinched, as long as those kids were left dangling in front of her. I was appalled. While this is the most extreme example of "baby syndrome" I have seen, it is only the last in a long line. I do have to say that mothers who currently have babies seem to be immune to the syndrome, and appear more than happy to pass their kids of to some crazy, baby obsessed, woman. Older women are certainly the worst offenders, but not by much. Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and think that babies are cute and great and all of that, but upon seeing one I don't turn off my mind and switch into some tunnel-vision, pampers-induced, vegetative state that renders me useless to society and a nuisance to those around me. I honestly believe that the only solution to the shopping cart gridlock, other than the removal of the children, would have been to give the woman a good swift kick to the back of the head, a sort of jump start, if you will. Not being that kind of person, I was forced to suffer in torment with my fellow man. What is my point? My point is that when you, as a female, see a baby you should WAKE UP AND USE YOUR HEAD! As I said before, I like kids. I like to smile at them and make funny faces at them (mainly in church) and listen to the funny things that they say, but the entire female gender are like a breed of alien robots intent on one thing and one thing alone. BABIES, BABIES,BABIES!! That's pretty much all I have to say on that. Before someone jumps all over me, questioning how I can lump all females into one category, please read my post below entitled "Because I Can."

Because I Can.

I recently saw an add online for the book Marriable. I haven't read this book, but the title reminds me of another book that I haven't read, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I tried to go to the Marriable web page and read some excerpts, but they didn't have any. I tried the same thing at amazon, with the same results. Despite my limited knowledge of the book, I decided to rage on it anyway. Why? Because I can. I have a blog, and that gives me the ability to spew forth filth into the world at a rate rivaled only by the mayor of America's newest lake (that's right, I said it). Blogging is power. In starting a blog you have become the dictator of your own world. You can say what you want when you want. Someone disagrees with you? DELETED!! You can connect your blog to the worlds of others, or isolate yourself completely. It is a realm that is totally at your command. Blogging is life as it will never be. Come to think of it, I'm not really going to say anything about Marriable, the capability is enough for me. Isn't blogging great?

Hope From Despair

Several weeks ago I was pleasantly informed by my future mother-in-law that, at the rate of things, there would be a Hurricane Nate this summer. While it reveals something of my identity, I was excited to hear that they finally saw the merit in naming a hurricane after me. Sometime late last week Hurricane Nate formed somewhere in the Atlantic, and my hopes began to grow. I even received a phone call from a coworker to inform me of my prospects. Now, before Nancy Pelosi begins to slander me on CNN, I’m not demented enough to hope that Nate turns into the next Katrina, but I want my namesake to do well for himself. As I am writing this, Hurricane Nate is still in the Atlantic and is heading straight out to sea. What a let down. The one time in my life that I have one of these meteorological leviathans named after me and the thing turns tail and runs at the first sight of land, if a hurricane considers Bermuda to be "land." As I watched the weather last night my hopes turned to despair. My namesake would not be honored in tales for future generations of coastal dwellers. Hurricane Nate was truly a disappointment. But then I thought to myself, perhaps Hurricane Nate isn't the underachiever I think he is. What if he is an overachiever? It would only make sense. The Gulf/Atlantic Coast and the Caribbean get hammered by several hurricanes each year. It's been done, but when was the last time that the Atlantic Coast of Europe got hit. Um, never? I am now very proud of little Nate as he blazes his course across the Atlantic to go where no storm has gone before. Will he make it? The odds don’t look good, but hopefully he has opened the door for many more adventurous storms to come. Watch out Spain, here comes Nate!

I Hate Computers.

Seriously, I had a nice long post four you, but when I went to spell check it my crap work computer froze. Thus, no nice long post, and no spell check on this post. I am back though. I haven't been commenting lately because, excluding wedding planning, there hasn't been much going on. I am sure that you don't want to hear about wedding planning.