The Ultimate Prank

Yesterday at work I had a phone conversation with a gentleman who had recently fallen victim to the "flaming bag of poo." The guy wasn't all that socially savvy, and described it as "a small fire was left on my porch by troublesome youngsters." It was in that moment, while choking back a laugh, that I realized that the "flaming bag of poo" may just be the ultimate prank. When you think about it, the deed must have evolved over time, because it is actually the combination of three different pranks.

Initially I think that people probably just left poo on your doorstep. That would certainly get the point across. Then, probably with the advent of the Postal Service, the "poo drop" was combined with the traditional "knock and run." This prank alone would have been quite brilliant. Imagine some early settler resting his feet after a long day of oppressing indigenous peoples when he hears a knock at the door. "Why it must be a package from that new Postal Service" he excitedly thinks to himself as he opens the door. But, Alas there is no package, only poo.

The bag was probably always a part of poo pranks because the prankster would need a clean way to deliver his product. With the addition of the "knock and run" to the scenario the bag was simply left with the poo for two reasons. 1) Time. "Knock and run" doesn't provide the deliverer a large amount of time to empty a bag before running. 2) Surprise. With the poo now in a bag it could be hoped that the bag would be taken into the home before revealing its surprise.

Fire also became involved for a number of reasons. 1) You can only put an immature male and a paper bag together for so long before one of them gets set on fire. 2) Someone initially thought to set the pile of poo on fire. I sort of wish that this prank had remained in its current form, because the prankee was now faced with the decision of letting the fire burn, or knowingly stomping on a pile of poo. Classic. However time and cleanliness probably intervened here to give us the "flaming bag of poo" as we know it.

As I said before, yesterday I thought that the "flaming bag of poo" was the ultimate prank, but today I discovered this. Ignoring the fact that they are a bunch of French socialists, and that they are disrupting the greatest sport in the world, this may be the ultimate prank. You've also gotta love a donkey named "Jujube." Anyway, I'm sure it won't be long until some public event angers me, so get your donkey ridin' boots on boys.