Tough Love Straight From Bavaria.

It is one of the odd facts of my life that I like going to the dentist. I like it because its a no nonsense business. You show up, get cleaned or drilled or capped an then go home. None of this junk about medicines and follow-ups, just straight forward teeth work. I especially like my dentist because he is all business. He never messes about with questions about family, or work, or anything. He checks your teeth, asks if you have any questions, and moves on. Good man. However, the hygienists at my dental office are a completely different story.

Imagine yourself as a traveler in the Alps. Tired and hungry after a long day's journey you check into a mountain lodge and are greeted at the restaurant by a large, boisterous, buxom, beer stein toting, bear hugging alpine mountain woman. Keep that imagine in your mind. I recently had a dental appointment. After a short wait in the lobby I was greeted by my hygienist (enter alpine mountain woman). She was boisterous, talkative, and did a very thorough job on my teeth. She was by no means gentle, and certainly fell into the "tough love" category, but got the job done. While I loved her approach to work, there was a slight problem. As my previous description suggests, she was a large and forceful woman, not "fat" exactly, just large. She had placed her tool tray above my head, and each time she reached for a new tool she would inadvertently (I hope) press her breast into my face. My initial thought was, "What is the protocol in this situation?" Being that my head was firmly pressed both into the head support of the chair, and into my hygienist's breast there was no chance for subtle movement. Removing my head from the supports would have pressed it further into her breast. There was a good chance that this may have angered her, and you don't want to anger a woman who is working with sharp objects in your mouth. In the end I came to the conclusion that if she was ok with it I was too. After all, she did a heck of a job on my teeth.