The Kayak Incident

Gandalf's Lackey recently provided us with a post describing a kayaking trip he took with a Mr. Bob Barrett. The name immediately brought to the forefront of my mind a day that I will not soon forget. While the name "Barrett" will forever be linked with that day in my mind, I in no way hold Mr. Barrett responsible for what I am about to relate to you.

I guess this is basically the story of my first kayaking trip. It is also the story of my first encounter with a "strainer" (yes, I have had more than one). In nature a "strainer" normally occurs when a tree, or part of a tree, falls into moving water. The trunk of the tree remains at or near the surface of the water while the underwater branches wedge against the stream bed, holding the tree in place. As time goes by these branches collect debris. The more debris that builds up in the branches, the more debris the branches collect. Eventually it reaches the point where solid items are no longer able to pass under the tree, and get stuck. Water is still able to get through, but do to the large amount of debris in the way, the current is significantly stronger under the tree. Anyway, my first day of kayaking went quite well, until we came to an area where the stream was partially blocked by a strainer. Mr. Barrett carefully explained to us how we were to maneuver around the obstacle. Being last in the line of kayakers I tried to hold back while the others went ahead. However, when my time came to negotiate the obstacle I found out that I was caught up in the current and my kayak quickly came to rest alongside of the log that formed the top of the strainer. I attempted to paddle along the log, but the current held me in place. I became clear to me that my solutions for a water bound escape were slim. The log was actually quite large and I thought that is would be possible to climb onto the log and drag the kayak onto land where I could then put back into the water downstream a bit. It would have been a great idea had the current not, at that point in time, flipped the kayak over. Finding myself upside-down lodged under a kayak that was lodged under a log, I began to realize that the situation was somewhat more serious than I had initially thought, and had the most memorable moment of clarity in my entire life. I suddenly found that I had all the time in the world. I won't say that my whole life flashed before my eyes, but I did spend what seemed like a good bit of time thinking about my family. I then became very angry and remember saying to myself "Not Today." I then popped the skirt on my kayak and pulled myself above the water. Using the kayak as a flotation device I could still feel the current trying to pull me back down under the log. At this point in time my attitude was basically one of "screw the kayak" and I shoved that boat under the log which enabled me to crawl on top of the log.

It is amazing how exhausting such a brief moment of time can be. After some prying we were able to extract the boat and paddle from under the log, and I found my self, cold and wet, lying on the shore. I gradually worked my way back into the kayak and slid back into the water. I was pretty sure that I wasn't the only one who realized how close we all were to having a very bad day, but fortunately I also wasn't the only one who realized that I didn't really feel like talking about it. The only comment of the day came when Mr. Barrett paddled up alongside of me and said "I am soglad that you came back out from under there." I couldn't help but agree with him.

The truly amazing thing about this story is that, despite the "strainer," my initial kayaking experience was such a positive one that I have gone several times since. I actually just purchased an inflatable kayak from Wal-Mart which will undoubtedly provide me with countless more river adventures.