Exciting News.

A little while ago I received a letter in the mail addressed to me and marked "Urgent: Time Dated Materials." I didn't initially tell you guys about this for two reasons. 1) I had to make sure that it wasn't one of the secret messages that I periodically receive from Karl Rove. 2) I wasn't sure if I could talk about it. Now assured that I am free to speak on both counts, I feel that I can share with you my good news. Apparently, after being closely scrutinized by a major corporation, I have been selected for "pre-approval." Don't go getting jealous just yet. I have only been selected for a "special introductory offer," but am excited regardless. After receiving my full application I will go through an even more stringent selection process, and if selected for final approval, I will become a member of their "Gold Club." It seems very exciting. I will even get a special "Gold Card" that I can use to by stuff. To top it all off, none of this will cost me anything for the first year! Man am I stoked!! I'll keep you updated as the process continues.