Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What A Crapfest.

Yesterday I had the "pleasure" of watching about 5 minutes of The Tony Danza Show. In all fairness I should say that I was not an unbiased observer. I also had the "pleasure" of meeting Mr. Danza a few years back when he fell under my "protection" at work. I have to say that the assignment wasn't terribly difficult as Mr. Danza didn't exactly attract a crowd. However, it was highly annoying when he continually made uncomfortably strong advances towards a female coworker of mine. He even went as far as to kiss her hand. It was pathetic. Anyway, back to the five minutes of the show I saw. Tony spent the first few minutes telling the audience about the reruns of Taxi and Who's The Boss that he had watched that morning. Apparently the writers for both of those shows were awesome. What kind of pompous jerk uses his crappy talk show to brag about how great is previous crappy shows were? Perhaps the next segment of the talk show will answer that question. Tony had the Stanley Cup on the show. Oddly enough, the Stanley Cup was also under my "protection" at one point in time. If you have ever seen the Stanley Cup in real life you will know that it is always escorted by a white glove clad man named Mike. Mike is a pretty nice guy, but is also pretty anal about people touching the cup. The whole purpose of Mike is to keep human oils off of the cup. You can imagine how thrilled Mike looked when Tony Danza began to molest the cup in embarrassing fashion. To his credit Mike didn't say anything, but was obviously uncomfortable. Tony Danza, to his credit, picked up on it. Did Tony stop fondling the Stanley Cup? No. Instead, with his bare hands still on the cup, he told Mike that it was ok because he used to drink out of the cup when he partied with Chris Chelios (famous hockey player). Mike became red in the face. I turned off the TV.

So, to answer my above question, what kind of self aggrandizing jerk makes unwanted advances to members of his security detail, uses his crappy talk show to praise his previous crappy shows, and blatantly molests the Stanley Cup? David Hasselhoff. That's right, in my opinion Tony Danza has sunk to the level of "The Hoff" himself. The guy might as well make a Christmas dance mix album and market it in Poland.

My final question is this. How does The Tony Danza Show stay on the air? Who watches this crap? The crowd seemed to be made up of gay men and grumpy middle aged women. None of them looked happy. I wonder what contest they lost to get tickets. Seriously, the set and Danza's demeanor seems very geared towards the Oprah crowd, but does the Oprah crowd want to see the Stanley Cup? Doubt it. That's very much a guy thing. Also, who exactly cares what TV shows Tony Danza watches in the morning? Who isn't disturbed by the fact that he watches reruns of his old shows (and loves them)? Those shows sucked. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about the whole ordeal is how much it actually disturbed me. Yeah, I'm still ticked over 24 hours later. Maybe that puts me on the level of "The Hoff."

3 comments:

Proteinstar said...

Whole crap man!! You're complaining about Tony Danza?!

Let me in!

In the hierarchy of entertainment the man is just below late night real estate marketing infomercials and slightly above reruns of Punky Brewster.

There I said it.

Oh and I'm listening to a remix of the Neverending Story theme song. Musical genius.

Unknown said...

GO TO HELL TONY DANZA, YOU DIRTY DAYGO! I HATE THAT WHOP BASTARD!!! HE CAN'T ACT; HE ONLY CAN PLAY CHARACTERS NAMED 'TONY'; HE's ABOUT AS ITALIAN as PIZZA HUT; I WANT TO SLAP HIS BITCH ASS INTO NEXT WEEK AND THEN KICK HIM IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT HIS GRANDCHILDREN WINCE OVER IN PAIN.

ISN"T IT BAD ENOUGH THAT THOSE TRAILER-PARK HICKS in TAMPA WON THE CUP TWO YEARS AGO? ISN'T IT BAD ENOUGH THAT MATTHEW PERRY TOUCHED IT? GOD, !@#$% MOTHER-!@#$%ing TONY DANZA!!!

sigh...sorry...had to get that off my chest.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!! GOD, AND I THOUGHT THE MAFIA GAVE WE ITALIANS A BAD NAME!!!!! SINATRA NEEDS TO COME BACK TO LIFE AND 'MICKEY SPILLANE' THIS IDIOT.

DOWN WITH DANZA! DOWN WITH DANZA! DOWN WITH DANZA!!!!

Nathan Hackman said...

Wow, have some strong fellings there buddy?