Training For The Kestle Run.

One of the perpetual questions of my life was answered last night around midnight as I was gliding around town on my newly overhauled Raleigh. Am I cursed to live my entire life staring at bicycles on the internet that are nicer than mine? Yes I am. Not because I can't afford a really nice bike. I could go out and buy my dream 2006 Raleigh Supercourse tomorrow, or I could squirrel away my money for months on end and eventually purchase some sleek Italian machine that is vastly more bicycle than I would ever need. But alas, I won't. I have fallen in love with my crusty old Raleigh. I didn't mean to fall in love. The plan was to fix her up and keep her on the road until after I got married, then I would implement one of the above plans. But sometime during the long winter months, while sanding off the rust and scrubbing away the grime, we made a connection. I've now come to the conclusion that although a brand new bike would be nice, it just wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't sit on my floor and stare at her finer points. I wouldn't tinker away for hours over some minute detail that would have no effect on riding quality whatsoever. I wouldn't waste away weekends downing Yuengling and listening to Johnny Cash while undertaking some mammoth repair that could have been solved by $10 and a trip to the bike shop. In the end I guess I just wouldn't be happy if I had a bike that I was happy with. I should say that she isn't completely finished yet. There are a few minor adjustments that need taken care off, an essential part I forgot to install, and a cosmetic item that hasn't arrived yet, but overall she is totally rideable. After all of the aforementioned are completed I plan on borrowing a digital camera from the in-laws and posting some pictures for you all. After that I will need to choose a name. She used to be called "Pearl," but some changes make that name seem a tad delicate now. Until then I will start to whittle off my winter parsecs and might take in some more midnight rides, that was fun. Here's my latest object of obsession it is widely regarded as the finest bicycle seat in the world and retails for around $60. Wedding gift anyone?

Oh, Moneypenny.

I'm watching a James Bond marathon at work. Bond just got married and informed his wife that he "had the gadgets and intended to use them." I'll have to remember that one for my honeymoon. Hopefully my honeymoon doesn't end the same way Bond's did. His wife got capped by some evil henchmen. Bond seemed ok with it though. Anyway, that brings me to the point of my post. If you had to come up with a list of movies that contributed to making you the person that you are today, what would the be? Obviously the entire James Bond series plays a key role in the early life of any male in living in the free world. But what other films are out there? Here is my list.

The initial nod has got to go to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I actually never saw this movie until my senior year of High School, oddly enough while I was home for a sick day. I couldn't help but feel that every moment of my life before that day had been wasted. Ferris taught us all that it is possible to skip a day of school without turning into a drunken deadbeat pothead. His cavalier attitude towards authority and responsibility revolutionized my worldview.

Next I am going with Navy SEALs the 1980s version starring Charlie Sheen. In a strange way Navy SEALs is similar to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Hawkins, Sheen's character, exhibits a similar levity in attitude to Bueller's. Granted, Bueller was only dealing with a single day of High School while Hawkins was tracking Stinger missiles through the Middle East, but hey its only a movie right? Navy SEALs also taught me that shooting things could be a viable career path. Didn't work out so much in reality though.

Chariots of Fire and The Mission provide some faith based maturity to the list. Chariots deals with issues of faith and integrity, while The Mission is all about the power of forgiveness. The Mission also began my love affair with De Niro and segways nicely into the historical portion of my list.

Winds of War and War and Remembrance are excellent primers for WWII history. I was steeped in these two TV miniseries from the earliest age. They impressed upon my the epic ebb and flow of history along with the incalculable impact that WWII has had on the world, even to our current times.

Patton goes along with the historical theme. Anyone who truly watches this movie has to come away with an appreciation of Patton's impressive knowledge of history. He has helped me realize how important historical knowledge can be. We truly can learn from the mistakes of others. By far the most important thing I learned form Patton is this. When in doubt, Attack!!

I end my list with the greatest film ever made, Casablanca. Yes, I am aware that there is an alarming amount of characters on this list that just don't give a crap. What can I say about Casablanca? Humphrey Bogart is just awesome. The whole sticking it to the man theme is timeless. Add on to that the fact that "the man" is Nazi Germany. Just a great movie. It also includes the only appropriate use of the "Les Marseillaise" in all of history.

Another Story To Add To My List

So I got a little lazy today and didn't want to make lunch. I decided to walk down to my local pizza place and get an Italian sub. A few minutes after taking my order the girl behind the counter looks down at my sub and says, "Hm, that smells bad."

The Witch's Curse Is Broken!!

I know that Matt posted a few days ago lamenting the end of winter. I am now posting to celebrate the end of winter! My long hibernation is over! I would have posted on this earlier, but I have just been too busy. I'm racing to get my Raleigh back into riding condition, spending as much time as possible outdoors, and reveling in the annual return of F1. Incidentally, Bahrain GP results are up on Rover's Racing. But alas, spring is slowly springing. I inevitably get myself into some sort of funk over the winter, and never really feel myself until spring. Granted, we could still have a few weeks of winter left, but the writing is on the wall.

In other news, my political campaign is in full swing. I had to meet with the Bilderbergers again. Apparently I wasn't supposed to go public with the whole "invade New Jersey" thing. Those guys are so uptight. You'd think they ran the world or something. Anyway, I have also instructed my hairdresser to come up with a tactical response plan in the event that polling information shows that voters feel I would look better with a mullett. Remember, vote Rover on May 16th!

I'm Famous!!!

I have received two, that's right two, emails from Scarlet Johansen. Apparently she wants to give me her Motorola SLVR phone for free! I'm not sure why exactly, but when your blog is as wildy popular as mine famous people often want to do strange things for you. I don't know if this is some bizarre attempt to ask me to dinner or what, but I'm not really interested Scarlet. However, if your phone has Lindsay Lohan's number in it we might be able to work something out.

Q Is For Qwerty Who Tells Us The Truth.

The most culturally relevant statement Veggie Tales has ever made. Qwerty does tell us the truth. And while we are dropping knowledge on each other, here is a tidbit for all you single guys. Someday you will meet a nice a girl and decide that she is less aggravating than any other girl you have yet to encounter. The relationship will blossom and grow and get "serious." Marriage will be thought of, discussed, and planned. At some point in this process you will find yourself with your fiance at your place of residence and she will make a statement that sounds something like this, "After we get married you'll have to come up with a better system for determining which pile of laundry is clean and which pile is dirty." When this happens, and it will happen, do not under any circumstances respond with, "So, you mean just asking me isn't going to work for you?" Trust me, it isn't.

Also

As the relationship progresses you may find yourself in another "hypothetical" situation. You will be using the restroom (your place, her place, doesn't really matter) and she will be standing outside the door urging you to hurry because she also has to go. In this situation it may seem like a good idea to ask her to rate her current bathroom need on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being no bathroom need at all, 10 being urinating on yourself). Trust me, this is always a good idea. However, when she answers with, "Probably a 7 or an 8" do not under any circumstances answer with, "Oh! So you still have two points to go then?"

Also

At some point in the relationship you will become bored. Not with her, just bored in general. At this time it might seem like a good idea to begin expressing your current needs in command form ended with the word "woman," stated loudly. For example:

"Get me a drink, Woman!"
"Put my shoes on for me, Woman!"
"Floss my teeth, Woman!"

While these statements do end the boredom, they seldom result in the desired actions being carried out, and in some cases lead to a direct kick to you back (ask Protienstar). Just something for you single guys to keep in mind.