Vote Rover Update

After having met with the Bilderbergers and The Skulls I have finalized my gubernatorial campaign platform. Things have changed a bit since I initially announced my candidacy. My chief selling point in the campaign was going to be my proposed invasion of New Jersey. However, early polling information shows that the average Pennsylvanian does not want New Jersey. More accurately, they do not want all of New Jersey. PA residents do want beach front property. New Jersey has a large amount of beach front property. So how do we get New Jersey's beach front property without encumbering ourselves with the rest of the state? Paratroopers. That's right, a strategic drop on the coast line would provide our residents with an island like paradise just a few hours from home. Some might ask where our state will acquire said paratroopers, as we currently don't have any. This is a good time to bring up my economic stimulus package. By increasing our manufacturing capacity to meet the needs of the new military units we can create more jobs in PA and stop the outflow to other states. Planned manufactured surplus can be sold of to small third world countries embroiled in conflicts with their own populace. How will we fund this massive industrial push? It is a bit of a complex process, but I will attempt to explain. First we will sell Philadelphia to New Jersey (we can always take it back later, if we want to). Using the funds from the "Philly Transaction" we will produce enough military units for an invasion of Maine. Why Maine? Maine in itself may appear to be a massive woodland occupied entirely of rednecks and potheads that has no actual value. This is true when we consider the values of the average hard working Pennsylvanian. However, to the Canadians Maine is a land of long lost friends and relatives. It is a veritable gold mine. We will sell Maine to the Canadians county by county. More profit that way. With these funds we will be able to complete our invasion. If elected this fall I promise the people of Pennsylvania that we will be basking on the beach by Spring!