Leave 'Em Wanting More

I've said a lot of goodbyes this week. I quit my job, not spur of the moment, and stood-by as Roverine buried her Grandmother. Both were bittersweet moments that held more than smidge of hope. The Grand Roverine had been battling Alzheimer's for the last seven years and by the time I came on the scene five years ago, her personality was all but gone. From family stories she seemed like a grand old lady. Her parents rode a steamship over from Ireland in the early 1900s. She married a pilot in 1944 and boldly waited at home as he flew missions over "The Hump" in Burma. He came home and they lived that American dream for many years. They bought a brand new home in suburbia and raised six children. One fought in Vietnam, one was held hostage by Saddam Hussein in 1991, one is a doctor, one is a lawyer, they all loved her fiercely. So I stood there, watching what could be any family in our country say goodbye to a woman I never knew, and was both sad and happy. I was sad because everyone was sad. She marked the end of a great generation for them, and in many was was the defining member of the family. I was happy because she left many letters and instructions behind, and made it very clear that she knew exactly where she was going after death. That was awesome. When I first met her I saw her struggle as her mind went away and she struggled to understand the world around her. In the last years she sometimes struggled to function at all. It is painful to think of the hell she lived with when she had such a firm hope in heaven. In the end her death was a release for everyone, and it is encouraging to watch someone who has struggled so much pass away filled with so much hope.

And then there's my job. About two years ago I decided that it was time to move on. At the time it was apparent where I was going to move on to, but that came with time. Sunday was my last day of work, and it was pretty hard. For a significant piece of time I was so focused on getting out that I didn't think about what I would leave behind when I finally left. I had formed a pseudo family at work the members of which I had worked with in various capacities for nearly ten years. Many of them have been heroes of mine as far back as High School. Sunday turned out to be a good day to end it all though. I spent most of the day sitting with a mentor who had been one of those High School heroes and we had a really good talk. He shared a lot of hopes and fears that I never knew existed in such grand men. Anyway, enough of that sentimental crap. I will still hear from those with whom I was tight, and that's all that matters. Tomorrow I move into my new office where I will explore the land mine ridden world of youth ministry. It is so exciting going from a job where I felt like I was locked in a cage to one where the only limitations are the ones that I make myself. Later.