Wating For Audrey.

Last night Roverine and I watched Just My Luck, the latest offering by Lindsay Lohan. I was surprisingly entertained, but still disappointed at the same time. Several years ago I was very impressed by the remake of The Parent Trap that Lindsay starred in. As she aged and burst into the Hollywood spotlight she was touted as the next Anne Margret. I never really liked Anne, but saw in Lindsay the potential for the next Audrey Hepburn. In my opinion Audrey Hepburn was the ultimate movie star, she embodied grace in way that others only aspire to. Granted, Audrey wasn't perfect, but she left us with the feeling that perfection just might be attainable. I wasn't alive when Audrey was in her prime, but I live in the hope that someday another star will rise that oozes class like Audrey did. As I said, several years ago I had hopes that Lindsay Lohan might be that star, but sadly I've sat by and watch as her life has spiralled into a nightmare of drunken parties and drug use. Her acting has suffered because of it. The Parent Trap remains the highlight of her career, which is pretty sad. Granted, she is still young and can turn it around, but I'm not holding my breath. My hopes for the next Audrey Hepburn remain unfulfilled.

In the Formula One world Renault has released their 2007 contender, the R27. You may view it below, but may need to shield your eyes. It looks like a Cadbury's Cream Egg had a bad encounter with Willy Wonka. It's a shame that the color scheme is so bad because they've done some really neat aerodynamic work with the rear view mirrors.


Adding to the 2007 field is Honda's RA107 (pictured below). I love the all black scheme on this car. It looks like something from Speed Racer. Sadly the team only uses the black for winter testing and revert to a white base with brown and red highlights for racing. Despite having only been out in public for a few days, the RA107 has already set an off season record. It exploded after just three corners, beating McLaren's record of just under one lap. I'm still waiting to see the new Red Bull.

Different

I don't like weddings. I think I've established that pretty well over my blogging history. I find it sad that we express our sincerest hopes for the future by engaging in our most materialistic tendencies while paying little more than lip service to the big guy that makes it all possible, but off of my high horse right? I spent the better part of this weekend in Baltimore for a wedding that, no surprise, I wasn't looking forward to. It was for one of Roverine's cousins, it was out of state, I had to rearrange my work schedule, and it was a wedding. It isn't that I don't like Roverine's side of the family, I do, but I don't feel the same connection that I do with mine. I realize that attending family events like weddings will increase our common history together and foster stronger relationships, but knowing that and wanting to put effort into that are two different things. What can I say? I'm kind of a grump. Anyway, considering all of this you can imagine my surprise when I realized that I was actually enjoying myself. As the bride walked down the isle my thoughts drifted back to that beautiful summer day when I watched my own bride coming toward me. I couldn't help but smile. It was actually a surreal experience. I had had a little bit of a rough day at work when we were called to assist at the death of a local woman. It made so much sense to take a day that began in death and end it with two people beginning a new life together. The reception was nice and, aided by some red wine, I was able to further my relationship with the extended in-laws. Unfortunately, I also had to further relationships with two very bizarre strangers that were seated with us. Anyway, when I awoke this morning I was mystified by my enjoyment of the past evening. I had just attended a wedding and liked it. All was not right with the world. I mean, I had liked my own wedding. It is actually one of the highlights of my life, but liking other weddings seemed to go against my rover "-ness." Even more bizarre was that this wasn't the first wedding I had been to since my wedding. It was wedding 2.5 since my big day (I was late for one so I only count it as half), so it wasn't like being married had suddenly transformed me into a wedding lover. At the end of the day I am left with this undeniable fact, I went to a wedding and enjoyed it. That is very different. There isn't another wedding on the schedule, so I won't be able to see if this was a freak occurrence or not. I'm not sure that I want it to be.

He Never Stops

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk minding my own business while my coworker was perusing some internet news site. He came across a story about Muslims requesting to use the Qur'an when being sworn in to testify in court. He promptly exploded yelling, "Those (insert random string of profanities) Arabs! We should take them all out and (insert any profanity not already used) shoot them! They don't have any respect for the Bible!" Seriously, where do the Arabs get off with spreading their message of violence and hate? We really need to appreciate people, like my coworker, who are willing to kill people of differing viewpoints to defend the message of the Bible. Today he informed me that he doesn't like Jehovah's Witnesses because they try to tell him about God. How dare they force their religion on him! I really need a new job.

Ha!!!

I don't usually post on Ferrari's opposition, but I thought this was pretty entertaining, especially after a conversation I had with proteinstar about this car. Below is the new Mclaren-Mercedes MP4-22. As usual, there has been a large amount of hype around the release of the new Mclaren, especially since it will be driven by the reigning world champion, Fernando Alonso. So why is this entertaining? Yesterday Alonso got his hands on this shiny little trinket, and just prior to completing one lap in the car it exploded. Complete engine failure. Looks like those boys a Mclaren have some work to do. While that was going on in Valencia, Fisichella managed to launch the new Renault off of the track in Jerez. If this is any indication of how the rest of the year will go we should be in for quite the show.

I Am In Love. . .

In an attempt to keep their noble lineage pure, the British monarchy has become a bit fruity, if you know what I mean. Purebred dogs and horses suffer from genetic defects rendering them unpure. But do not fret my friends, one line shall always remain pure and today the protectors of that line have introduced the world to the 53rd descendant of the that noble name, the Ferrari F2007. View upon her with awe.

Somewhere in France a Renault is trembling.

The Dread Pirate Roberts Is Here For Your Soul!!

Last night Roverine and I ran across a Princess Bride marathon, and I had a sort of Princess Bride mental revolution. I've always assumed that the plot went something like this, Prince Humperdink needs to get married, so he chooses Buttercup since she's the most beautiful commoner in the land. This is unfortunate for both of them because Buttercup was planning on marrying her long lost (and presumably dead) love, Westley. On his end Humperdink doesn't really want a wife, he wants a war with the neighboring country, Guilder. He attempts to achieve this through a series of elaborate plots to either kidnap or kill Buttercup in a manner that can be blamed on Guilder. Much to Humperdink's consternation, each plot is ruined through the efforts of the Man in Black (aka The Dread Pirate Roberts, aka Westley (back from the dead)). The movie ends when the Man in Black, aided by Inigo the Spaniard and Fezzik the Giant, storms Humperdink's castle, rescues Buttercup, and leaves Humperdink tied to a chair, "wallowing in freakish misery, forever." Westley and Buttercup live happily ever after, Inigo becomes the next Dread Pirate Roberts and Fezzik dies at an alarmingly young age.

That is generally how I remember things. The good guys (minus Fezzik) end up living the good life while the bad guys' plans are ruined and they end up either dead or destitute. Unfortunately, last night I realized that things don't go that way. At the end of the movie Humperdink is left unscathed and tied to a chair in the castle. Buttercup has disappeared after a daring raid by a mysterious pirate and his band of miscreants. Humperdink has gotten his way. He has his war. Granted, Count Rugen, Humperdink's evil henchman, is dead, but the kingdom is intact, the prince is alive, and the Princess is missing. It's time to assemble the seige works if you ask me. You might wonder what happened to Westley's whole "wallowing in freakish misery" thing. In fact, he never actually did anything to Humperdink short of threaten "freakish misery" and then leave him "alone with his cowardice."

So what am I getting at? The Princess Bride is widely regarded as one of the best fairytale movies out there. In light of my revelation you might think that I would disagree. I don't. In fact I think that my revelation only increases the fairytale value. It's a win-win situation! Westley and Buttercup get each other, the Prince gets his war, and Inigo becomes a pirate. It is perhaps the greatest fairytale ever written. Granted, Fezzik's heart does explode, Count Rugen dies, and Miracle Max is probably hunted to the death for helping the "rebellion." I didn't say it was perfect, just the best ever.

On a side note: I've seen my fair share of TV movie marathons in my day, but last night was a first for me. As soon as the movie ended the screen was split horizontally about a third of the way from the bottom. In the bottom third of the screen the credits rolled and at the top of the screen The Princess Bride began to play again immediately. It was genius! Fair play to whoever thought that one up!

Christmas Review

Although I still have one family gathering pending, I have decided to officially declare my Christmas season over. My official Christmas motto for the year was "Christmas is going to be awesome this year. Why? Because its awesome every year!" This year didn't disappoint. I was able to get some really good family time in with my side and Roverine's. Food was piled as far as the eye could see and presents fell from the sky like paratroopers in Market Garden. The highlights of the gift receiving were a pocket watch, a torque wrench, and a first edition copy of Through Gates of Splendor. But none of that really describes how great the holiday was this year. It was almost good beyond belief. On Christmas day I got the whole family to agree to a viewing of Bridge on the River Kwai(also a gift). That sort of holiday magic only happens once in a decade!

However, it must be said that there were a few low points. The first being Christmas Eve when I was convinced to go to Catholic Mass. I don't really know much about the Mass, but isn't it supposed to be a celebration? It seemed to me like it was more of a "Well, if I have to." sort of thing. I'll be the first to admit that I have been through my share of bad Protestant services in my life, but this service was not only boring, it was strangled by bizarre, and apparently meaningless, traditions and performances. Needless to say, I won't be converting anytime soon. The second low point was one of my extended family gatherings that occurred this past Sunday. There wasn't anything explicitly bad about it, I just didn't get to spend enough time with all of the people that I would have liked to. We get together again this summer, so I'll have to give it another shot then.

Some of you may not have had the wonderful holiday experience that I did, and are wondering how you can improve things in the future. The answer is simple. Preparation. You need to set the tone early. This year I chose to officially start the season by reading Dicken's A Christmas Carol. I highly recommend it to get you in the mood, and you can easily burn through it in a few hours. After the mood has been set, you need to decide on a gift buying strategy. Using the old gift checklist each year turns gift buying into a repetitive chore. Shake things up! My strategy this year focues on spontanaiety and collaboration. Whenever possible I collaborated with other family members to get people larger gifts than they otherwise would have gotten. when those options were depleted I switched to the spontaneous method. I went to my local shopping center, got a cup of coffee, and began to roam. When using this method, don't select stores that you think would have good items for your intended recipients. Just relax and go with the flow. This method scored me a nice painting for Roverine and a board game for proteinstar. Neither of them were at stores that I normally would have checked.

Anyway, at the end of the dayit was a great Christmas. I look forward to next year.