I Will Now Regale You With Tales Of. . . .

Tazio Nuvolari.

I have resigned myself to the fact that Michael Schumacher is in the waning days of his career, and whether it is this season or the next or the next I must prepare myself for life without the master behind the wheel. In anticipation of this I have decided to, from time to time, provide you with some history of the more memorable characters in motor sport. I'm doing this here so that Rover's Racing can remain dedicated to current race coverage.

Tazio Nuvolari raced most of his career in the pre-modern (pre WWII) era of Grand Prix racing and quickly became a racing legend. Nuvolari never won a world championship, as such a thing did not exist in motorsport until the late 1940s. He did however win a large number of races.

Perhaps his most famous win came on the monstrous Nurburgring Nordschleife in 1935. Hitler's push for technical supremacy had permeated all facets of German life, including motorsport. The Germans arrived at the Nurburgring with five new Mercedes Benz race cars and four new Auto Unions (now Audi). The cars were considered to be the fastest and most advanced race cars ever built. Nuvolari arrived in an obsolete Alfa Romeo, and won. Hitler was so infuriated that he refused to shake Nuvolari's hand after the race. The German officials informed Nuvolari that they had only expected a German to win and thus did not have a recording of the Italian national anthem to play. Nuvolari promptly produced a record of the anthem from the cockpit of his race car.

In 1946 Nuvolari was racing in Brescia, Italy when the steering wheel came off of his car. He not only finished the race, but won, using a wrench clamped onto the steering column for control. The above photo was taken at the finish line.

Nuvolari was not only known for his wins on closed racing circuits, but also on the open road races that were popular at the time. He achieved wins in both the Targa Florio and Mille Miglia during his career. A popular story among Nuvolari's fans recounts his victory in the 1930 Mille Miglia where Nuvolari knew he did not have the fastest car, but deceived the race leader into slowing the pace by following closely at night without his headlights on. Within sight of the finish Nuvolari made the pass for the lead, turned on his headlights, and won.

Legends of Nuvolari's driving prowess abound. He is also said to have won a race with only three functioning tires on his car (there is actually photo evidence of this), and to have won a motorcycle race with both of his legs in casts (no photos on that one). I love to read about Nuvolari's exploits because they seem so foreign from today's sterilized races. There were no track marshals or safety cars in Nuvolari's day, just a bunch of guys out there trying to drive as fast as possible while holding the car together with there fingernails. Oh yeah, after that German win Nuvolari was offered a job driving for Auto Union. Guess Hitler's technology couldn't account for everything.

Why Is TV So Bad?

Last night Matt and I went to see the Harrisburg City Islanders tackle DC United. Brechty was supposed to go also but had to stay home. He said it was because he was sick. I think its because he's a girl. I can't make too much fun because Brechty didn't make me pay for the tickets. For those of you who aren't soccer savvy, the City Islanders playing DC United is the equivalent of the Harrisburg Senators playing the New York Yankees. Basically it is our neighborhood knock around boys taking on the (arguably) finest team in the country. I was not expecting a close match. I was oddly surprised. DC won 2-1, but not with ease. The City Islanders held there own and . . . I have to go off topic here for a minute because two of my coworkers are in here talking trash about who has the nicer PT Cruiser. You can't make this stuff up!!! Now they are arguing about whether or not Barry White sucks! I just can't do this anymore. Anyway, DC United played very poorly. Freddie Adu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than some light jogging on field. Overall not a very inspiring game.

When I got home I was looking forward to my latest reading endeavor, North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. It is a great novel about the employer/employee struggles in England during the industrial revolution. After turning a few pages my eyelids began to get heavy. I wasn't quite ready to sleep yet so I turned on the TV. I wanted something "intelligent" to watch instead of the normal drudgery. Discovery Channel didn't have anything, and The History Channel seldom offers anything beyond the level of a grade school research paper. Eventually I settled on BBC News. They were reporting on recent tactics by animal protestors to bully shareholders into selling their shares in certain companies. In what has become typical of media "fairness," BBC switched to some commentary on the issue from the "moderate" viewpoint. . . a spokesperson from PETA who, of course, totally supported every practice in question. So much for "intelligent" coverage. I resumed channel surfing. I then came across a Kathy Griffen stand up routine. It was initially entertaining because she was pointing out how hopelessly clueless Hollywood is. After a few minutes though it became pretty clear that Kathy doesn't really have a clue either. I've come to the conclusion that TV is the true "opium of the masses." I enjoy a good sitcom now and then, but where is the substance? What about TV that answers real questions? No, another "investigative report" on Iraq doesn't count. Especially when you rehash the same antiquated arguments over and over. Here's an idea for a show on Iraq. Why not investigate reports by former Iraqi generals that Russian commandos were on the ground in Iraq up to a few days before the US invasion? That would be a show worth watching. Why were they there? What were they doing? Why has no one in power even mentioned it? Are the Iraqi generals telling the truth? I'd watch that stuff for hours. I wouldn't even care what they found out. Just cover something interesting!

Random Thoughts.

Without prompting a secondary deluge of profanity from Brecthy, I would like to announce that The Tony Danza Show is being cancelled and will be off of the air in less than a month! Apparently the network execs felt the power of my blog scorn.

The other day my local Public Works crew was out repainting the lines on the local roads while I was out riding my bike. I would like to thank them for the fresh paint on my bike tires, but that isn't the point. I discovered one of those "support our troops" ribbon magnet things lying on the road. The road crew had painted over it so it was effectively painted into the roadway. For the remainder of my ride my thoughts were filled with new slogans for the ribbons. My favorite is a chocolate brown ribbon stating "Avoid Flatulence Causing Foods."

Take it from someone with education, training, and experience. If your primary duty at work is to catch stray dogs you probably don't "need" to have body armor equipped with a titanium trauma plate. Then again, that is just my opinion.

Finally my most disturbing random thought of the week. If Anne Heche was straight, then gay, then straight again does that prohibit us from being able to consider her hot? I saw a clip of her on some TV show and thought, "That girl is kind of cute." Then I thought, "Whole Crap! That was Anne Heche! I am not a man." Brecthy pointed out that merely being gay doesn't eliminate hotness. The Fiance still thinks that Heath Ledger is hot despite Brokeback Mountain (which she conveniently refuses to acknowledge exists). Good point, but I still couldn't allow myself to consider Anne Heche as attractive. Then I thought that it was because she dated Ellen Degeneres. But Ellen, despite being a bit mannish, is likeable and entertaining. So why then, was I so repulsed by the fact that I briefly thought that Anne Heche was cute? Six Days Seven Nights is why. That film was such an affront to my sense of taste that it has forever ruined my opinion of everyone involved. I have never looked at Harrison Ford the same way since. Sometimes I watch Star Wars and hope that Luke Skywalker punches him out. All because of Six Days Seven Nights.