Wednesday, March 21, 2007

An Honorable Death



For many years our people had lived by the sea in relative peace. They farmed and fished while we, the chosen few, handled the occasional minor skirmish that arose with the neighboring Bjorkman Clan of Romans. Our Samurai grew fat and old during this time, and recruits became fewer and fewer. Only the rumors of a strange mountain people far beyond the river kept enough fear in the minds of the people to allow us to continue the old ways of the Ninja. The Shogun was pleased with our methods, and we were allowed to live and train amongst the ruins of the old hill fortress.

But then things changed. A new clan appeared and began constructing a fortress along the river. It was massive. It threatened our farmlands along the river. It threatened the Bjorkman Clan's access to the northern lake. It threatened the foothills of the mountains. As the fortress neared completion a banner was raised on it ramparts emblazoned with the letter "P" and a star. Sentries with muskets, robots, and an elf with a bow were seen patrolling the walls. All emissaries to the fortress were fired on. This was unacceptable. Soon messengers came to offer an alliance with the Bjorkman Clan. Strange men came from the mountains representing "Thurstan." These negotiations did not go well. Thurstan and Bjorkman did not respect our people and they mocked our traditions. They saw our ways as old and slow. It required great humility to hold the alliance together. We could not defeat the fortress alone.

There was much discussion on tactics. The other clans wanted to hold back, attack from afar, and settle into a longer siege. This is not how our people wage war. Shogun Rover thought it best to send the Ninja at night to kill the enemy in their sleep, and end the war before it began. The other clans did not agree and distrust grew. While the debate raged the Samurai grew strong and numerous once again. During this time ships appeared on the horizon, the English had come to trade again. With them came Sir Hawthorne, The Black Knight. In his country there were many large fortresses, and he had waged many battles against them. He united the alliance, and while he didn't fully understand the ways of our people, under his leadership we felt that the war could be won. His battle plan was simple, and respected all of the clans. The others would hold back and fire from afar, while Rover's Samurai and Hawthorne would charge the fortress gate. The Ninja would be held in reserve.

The day of the battle dawned, and the plan unfolded. Secret Krav Maga Agents descended from the mountains into the foothills at night. Early in the morning Bjorkman's Roman Archers were deployed on the plane by the northern lake. Almost in unison the Archers and the Agents opened fire on the fortress. Only the elf manned the ramparts, but he exacted a deadly toll on the Archers before the Agents cut him down. As he fell, the robots appeared on the looming walls of the fortress. Sir Hawthorne deployed the Samurai to assault the gate. A third of them were cut down as they crossed the river. The remainder charged under the shadow of the fortress and began to damage the massive door. Thurstan's Krav Maga continued to fire into the gate over the heads of the Samurai, but they were too far away to do much damage.

The battle looked to be a stalemate. The Archers were not able to inflict as many casualties as they received, and the Krav Maga Agents were killing the defenders on the walls, but were unable to damage the gate. The Samurai alone threatened the integrity of the fortress, but were quickly being cut down by the remaining robots above. At last only one small unit of Samurai remained at the gate. Sir Hawthorne himself ran towards the fortress to bolster the assault, but slain as he crossed the river. Colonial Musketeers appeared beside the robots on the walls and exacted even more harm on the Bjorkman Clan. Without Sir Hawthorne the attack appeared doomed to failure.

It was now, when things appeared darkest, that Shogun Rover remembered his original plan. He came to the Ninja and chose three. Lin, Kenjei, and I were to enter the fortress, slay its inhabitants, and hold it "for the honor of our people." It was a great plan that would be remembered for generations, but it was foolhardy. Alas, the Ninja exist to fight, not to argue. We set out across the plane in eagerness and soon arrived at the base of the fortress unnoticed. The Krav Maga were pushing their attack and large creatures began to appear from the mountains behind them. A lone paratrooper from the Bjorkman Clan had circled the far side of the fortress and was near to joining the Samurai at the main gate when we arrived. The defenders were either feeling bold, or had greatly underestimated the forces outside, because they opened the gate. We three Ninja quickly stole inside and Kenjei closed and barricaded the gate behind us, much to the surprise of the Samurai outside.

The robots had all been destroyed and the ramparts were manned by two Musketeers alone. However, they were able to fill the courtyard below with a hail of shot that required all of our skill and cunning to avoid. Lin quickly flew up a ladder and sliced one of the Musketeers in two. Then came the biggest surprise of the day. Our silent work was interrupted by a loud bang, and the final Musketeer crumpled to the ground. There, atop the rampart, stood Bjorkman's paratrooper, smoking .45 in hand. Somehow he had scaled the outside wall. Lin was the first to react and front flipped over the paratrooper's head while he buried another round into Kenjei's abdomen. The last thing the trooper heard was the tune of my singing Katana. With that the fortress of P Star had fallen.

As we removed the P Star banner it became apparent that betrayal of the alliance was not unique to the Clan of Rover. Our Samurai at the gate were easily slaughtered by by Thurstan's forces and the Krav Maga once again opened fire on the fortress. Lin and I had no ability, or desire, to defend a fortress against the large force outside. The failure of the Samurai to hold the gate sealed not only the fate of the battle, but the fate of our people. The Bjorkman Clan's army was destroyed, and handful of Ninja could do little to hold back Thurstan's forces if he chose to march out of the mountains and enslave our people. Rover's greed was the demise of all. In the end we could not give our people freedom or hope, but we could give them honor.

Recognizing that any attempt to hold the fortress would be idiocy, Lee and I decided to decimate the Krav Maga before the day was out. Prepared, we flung open the gate again, and were shocked to find the Krav Maga lined up on a hill behind and massive troll-like creature wielding a steel claw for a hand. Lee and I charged the beast and eluded its initial blows. I struck first, glancing my Katana off of its leg. I had done no damage. The beast caught me with a quick backhanded blow that sent me flying for yards. As I landed I felt my chest begin to collapse. fighting the coming darkness, I watched Lee thrust her sword towards the beast's chest. It shattered on impact. The beasts steel claw closed about her and crushed her body. All light faded away.

For those of you who weren't there, this is my account of a Heroscape battle that occurred at Protienstar's last night. If he lives up to his end of the bargain, we should have his take on things posted in a few days. That will be interesting because he played poorly, and as a coward.

Friday, March 09, 2007

I'm Back. . .Again

Since proteinstar has yet again demanded a post, here it is. Sorry I haven't been around lately, but things have been a tad busy, and I haven't felt like I have anything to offer. Here's today's dilemma though. Roverine and I are making a commitment to get in better shape over the next few months. Step one was having a goal. We chose the Five Boro Bike Tour in NYC. We are still hammering out a training program, but I was initially concerned with where I would find the time to fit a training program into my already "busy" schedule. Today I came to the realization that I actually have a ton of free time. I just don't manage it very well. I have a whole list of things that I would like to do "if I had the time." Among them are more reading, more exercise (specifically cycling), and more "good husband" time (which equates to more cleaning). So what exactly eats up my free time? Three things. Playstation, TV, and work. It isn't that I work all that much, but I do work a fair amount of bizarre mid-day shifts that eat up all of the daylight hours during the winter. I can't really do much about work (although I am working on a plan). That leaves TV and Playstation. Due to my Formula One obsession, I am unwilling to part with cable TV at this time. Playstation now falls under my crosshairs. Roverine and I use my PS2 almost daily for exercise videos, and we have also discovered the joys of Dance Dance Revoltution. So I think the console will stay, but I may sell off my game collection. Maybe not all of the games, but do I really need four different F1 games, a NASCAR game, rally racing, Gran Turismo 4, and Indy Car? I love my PS2 time, but I am pushing 30. Maybe it is time to move on. I think my life would be much more fulfilling if I found other uses for my time. So help me out here. PS2 games, stay or go?